Bear Your Yoke Admirably

On Being a Modern Gentleman:

Guideline 25: Bear Your Yoke Admirably

Everyone has their share of issues, even the modern gentleman. The difference between the gentleman and the ne’er-do-well lies in how they deal with their burden.

We all have problems, and we each face trials. That’s just how it goes. Instead of moping about and bemoaning your state to your friends and family, bear your yoke admirably. In regards to trials, there are three types of people in the world: those who deal, those who blame, and those who whine.

While you should be capable of expressing your needs and emotions to others, you should be equally capable of dealing with trials yourself without burdening others. No one needs any more Eeyore’s in their life. Don’t whine about your problems to others, as they have their own and shouldn’t find themselves yoked to yours.

Likewise, no one needs any more Rabbit’s. (He was the most accessible character I could think of that often blamed others.) Sometimes, there really isn’t anyone to blame for problems. Most of the time, the person to blame is yourself. Don’t attempt to share or pass guilt onto others. That isn’t the gentlemanly thing to do.

I keep thinking of an older fellow in my community–a true gentleman. In my years of knowing him, I’ve never seen him complain or fail to smile at others. No matter how ill or  burdened, he unfailingly responds to questions of “How are you?” with “Well, I’m doing so much better than I deserve. I’m great,” smile upon his face. Aspire to this. By all means, share your burdens with close friends and trusted family members. But, please, don’t broadcast them to the world. If you must be yoked to weighty trials, shoulder it, and bear it well.

 

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